User:BSigil/Merryweather/Interview

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This is an interview of Merry Brightspark in an attempt to establish a record of her personal history.

What is your full name and age?

Merry Brightspark, but most people know me by "Merryweather". I'm 37.

You're not a member of the Bilgewater Cartel. What cartel are you a member of?

I'm actually unaffiliated. I worked with a small group inside Quel'thalas before the Scourge invaded, and did a lot of trading with the elves and trolls in the area. When the Scourge invaded, my boss made the decision to help the Scourge. That didn't sit well with me, so I quit and left.

You quit a well-paying job over morals?

...Yes. A Goblin with morals. Imagine that. I must be some kind of freak.

You do speak with a Thalassian accent, and you asked for this interview to be in Orcish. Can you explain those?

I spent a great deal of time in Quel'thelas. So much so that I even learned their language. I learned Orcish later. As for our language, I've been away for Kezan for so long that I barely understand the dialect anymore. I'm working on it, though.

Ever try and get any work as a translator?

Unfortunately, some of the Blood Elves talk way too fast or fancy. I can translate for some of them, but not all.

Right. So what DO you do?

I'm an engineer, and I specialize in detailed work, like with circuits and clockwork and the like. I don't make a lot of money from it, so I also do odd jobs for the Horde and it's allies.

Odd Jobs?

Yes.

Could you expand on that?

No. Use your imagination.

Okay...I guess we'll move on then. Do you have any family?

No. They've been killed off in various and creative ways.

Can you give me an example?

A lonely uncle of mine tried to invent a rocket powered dildo.

......What?

Tell me about it. We weren't too surprised that it was a sex toy, but...THAT? Blows the mind. Or in his case, blows the-

I get the picture. So no family. Any current relationships?

No. I'm married to my craft.

You're not trying to invent a rocket pow-

No, I'm not.

Sorry for asking. Okay, so we know where you were around the time of the Third War. What about before that? Where were you born?

Kezan, but we moved away during my youth. We bounced around a lot. Honestly, I don't remember much before the lab in Quel'thalas. Like I said, I was there for quite some time. Before you ask, my group never worked with the First Horde, at least not that I know of. They may have been "customers" when I was younger.

What about after the Third War?

I spent a lot of time wandering around. News about our race's move to neutrality spread pretty well, and translators were pretty easy to come by. I actually spent a lot of time moving through what is now considered enemy territory. Places like Loch Modan and Redridge Mountains. During that time, I learned a lot about budding technologies, and worked on my own skills. I pretty much did this until recently, when I learned that the Bilgewaters had joined the Horde.

What made you join the Horde?

Ultimately? I'm not really sure. I think it was a combination of things. The Bilgewater Cartel's closeness to Kezan, the fact that Elves joined the Horde, and, well, I don't really get along with Gnomes. I, personally, have no problem with them. They seem to have issue with me.

Gnomes and Goblins do have a long standing rivalry.

Yes, and it's silly. Engineers on both sides can learn a lot from the other. I, for example, am more-or-less a traditional Goblin Engineer, but I check my work as I build it, and I use assistants to turn it on. I won't be blowing myself up anytime soon.

So what kind of things have you invented?

Numerous things.

Care to go into details?

Eventually, but for now I'm keeping a lid on them until I've refined them. I'll give you a hint, though. One of the big ones is a Dimensional Ripper that doesn't require a landing pad.

That's impossible!

No, just highly improbable.

That would require so much power that it wouldn't be feasible!

Yes, that's the current problem I'm working on.

Are you using Chaos Generators?

I've already said too much.

But, but, but!

No "buts"!

Aw! Well fine then. So, I hear you're banned in a few cities from testing prototypes. Can you explain why?

Well, the incident in Orgrimmar wasn't my fault. I was on a team, and an Orc pushed a lever too hard and broke it, preventing us from turning the device off. Property damage and casualties resulted. Teehee.

That's funny?

Ever seen someone with their head literally up their butt?

Okay, that's a little funny. What about Thunder Bluff?

I have no idea. This is one of those stories that starts with, "I got drunk and..."

You don't remember anything?

I know their flight tower used to be taller.

Ouch. Okay, Silvermoon.

That wasn't too big a deal. The various "masters" weren't too keen on me testing my prototypes on their target dummies, as they were running out of replacements, and had to make more.

That doesn't sound too bad.

Admittedly, I took out a lot more than the target dummies.

Oh....

Their stone masons are remarkable. They had the damage repaired in under a day.

So you must be pretty sore about having the man come down on you like that. What do you think of the various leaders?

Well, I never deal with the guys in charge of Thunder Bluff and Silvermoon, so I have no thoughts on them. Garrosh is an Orc, and from what I've heard, he's giving the Orcs what they want. Some of them, anyways. He seems to be a bit of a hot-head, though, which I can't imagine being very good. Every Goblin knows that impulsiveness will get you blown up.

What about Sylvanas?

She's bat-shit insane. Then again, I suppose that comes with being undead. Still, I'm glad there are some Orcs down there keeping an eye on them.

Probably a good thing. You know, I just recalled that there's a kill-on-sight order currently issued for you by the Steamwheedle Cartel. Mind explaining that?

You see, that Baron down there is far too excitable. He gave me a job himself to sabotage some of the Bloodsail's cannons down there. Now, as we all know, shrapnel is random, and as with all random things, SOMEONE is going to get that one-in-bajillion chance.

So what happened?

I'm not an alchemist, you see. I misidentified the explosive compound the Bloodsails were using for their cannons. The pieces of the cannons went long and far, as did their cannon balls, and the took out several large chunks of Booty Bay. Needless to say, I was blamed. I've been trying to get back in favor with the Steamwheedles, but it's slow work with the K.O.S. order and all.

You accidentally blow things up quite a bit.

Well, I AM a Goblin engineer.

True enough. That's all I've got for you. Thanks for coming in.

No problem! And hey, I noticed your clock was broken. Want me to take a look at it?

Absolutely not.